Psycho Strippers

From time to time, certain magical locales will crop up that seem to be loaded with hot chicks — a certain night at a certain bar will be packed with women. Sometimes it gets tough having to slap all those bitches off your jock, but once it’s over you can’t wait for next week to mack all of those lascivious drunk hoes again. Here’s a bit of advice: if you are happy in your pussy paradise, you better keep your mouth shut about it! Once you tell a friend, the friend will tell a friend, and they will tell their friends — within weeks, ye’ old dependable cod-to-rod ratio is knocked totally off kilter. Soon, the Neanderthal courting rituals of obnoxious frat boys and rednecks will make chicks so miserable, they will stop coming. Within a month’s time, you’ll find more eligible teen sluts at bingo night in the geriatric ward. This system of migrating estrogen is cyclical — getting through the slumps before the next spot picks up can be tough. When the going gets tough, the tough get going to where they know there’s gonna be pussy: titty bars.

Many argue that you can’t get laid at titty bars. I strongly disagree with this logic. If I had a nickel for every stripper I’ve slid my bearded blood bomber into, I would be a rich man. Well, I’d have a few hundred dollars, in any event.

Today, I offer some practical advice that will enhance your personal life. I have put literally a decade of research into this. Take this advice if you’ve always wanted to serve your boner pro-bono to your favorite “adult entertainer”. This information was formerly classified in the interests of national security, but I am declassifying it now, seeing as I am in the midst of a half-hearted attempt to be semi-faithful to my girlfriend.

To draw an analogy: the pursuit of molesting strippers is a lot like fishing (note that I ignored an obvious opportunity to make a fishy smell reference, or did I?). The pond you fish in, lure you use, and how you bait your hook are conditions that will give you a favorable success rate, but first you need to ask yourself…

More to come soon…

Dommy B some how found a way to get locked up. I'd go further into detail, but I hate typing. The whole story is in the video. Anyways, Sanchez, Seth, and Chris had to go pick him up. After eating weak sandwiches while locked up, Dommy wanted to get some pizza. That's how they met Ginger. Dommy went in to get the food and actually managed to pick up Ginger. Sanchez offered her a day of fun and excitement, and being the adventurous cutie that she is, she accepted. Ginger has a tight athletic body, a pretty face, and is a self proclaimed attention whore. Well, everyone knows that women respond to two forms of currency, money and positive attention, so this one was in the bag. After warming her up with compliment, jokes, and attention, Ginger was willing to do anything to keep it going, and she did. Chris whipped out his dick and she went straight into action. She showed off by deep throating all of the Puerto Rican's dick, and fucking him as hard as she could with her fat pussy. She has small tits, but what she lacks in boobs, she made up for in energy and enthusiasm. She even took a big facial with a smile. She was a good sport, so they ended up ditching the true bitch of the bunch. Was it Dommy since he was fresh out of jail? Was it Seth because he's new to the crew and has a thing for small woodland creatures? Was it Chris because he pretends he's a tiny Puerto Rican pimp? You'll have to watch the movie to find out. Take her sleazy, sailor pants.

It's a little known fact, but once you leave the beach or downtown Miami, you'll find vendors at almost every intersection, or some are just on the side of the road, usually under a bridge. Well that's where the crew met Kara. Ya see, Sanchez and the crew were driving around enjoying Sanchez's new Puerto Rican ho when Sanchez took a big swig from an old bottle of water. From that point on the mission was to find some clean and cold water. Kara was on the side of the road selling water. At first Sanchez didn't pay her any mind, but the crew seemed to be into her, so they went back to try there luck. She was down for anything better than selling water roadside. To be honest, it didn't take much to get this hot Dominican on her knees. Nothing against he. She's a open minded, fun loving, cute, full of life Latina trying to enjoy life in Miami. In the end, even though she had a great time getting fucked, sucking dick, and even swallowing Chis's cum, they had to ditch her. I know it's harsh, but it's what we do. Next time we should ditch Barbie too, preferably in the begining of the day. Check out the trailer to see what I'm rambling about. Enjoy.

I called Felony to come and meet me at the beach knowing that she is here in Miami having some good time under the sun. This girl always looks good and her boobs is the first thing you notice on her amazing body. So since she was here I decided to make her a nice surprise. She told me that she would mind to do a scene and ask me to find some cool stud for her to work with. The first guy I thought of was Sergio so I gave him a call, he was totally down for it and it turned out that they were old friends. I believe in a friendship before today's shoot. Damn he fucked those tits hard. The blow job that she gave him was one of the hottest things I've ever seen in my entire life. The whole sex scene was as wackable as it gets.

It's the rainy season here in Miami. This is a good and bad thing. Good because girls are more likely to accept a ride in the rain, bad because the van has a fucking hole in the roof and the wipers are rusty garbage. Now, I don't know if any of you have ever had a leaky vehicle, probably not, but the rain makes the vehicle smell like dead fish, or at least that's what we are dealing with. Luckily, Carlos could stomach the stench, and came out for his first adventure with us. We went to the beach even though it was rainy. The place was dead, but we did find one little hottie. Lina was kinda stranded since her friends decided not to show due to the rain, and she had taken the bus. Of course she was confused by Sanchez and the crew at first, but the offer of a ride, and money, softened her up pretty quick. That and she obviously liked Carlos. Lina is a young Miami native with Dominican roots. Carlos is also Dominican. She took the ride and with little coaxing, she was eventually riding Carlos. You don't want to miss this one. I'd go more into detail, but it's all there in the trailer. Check it out. Peace.

For those that don't know, Sanchez is a painter. He has been for most of his life. Like the rest of us, Sanchez is also short of cash. So the crew went out to try to sell some of his paintings. That's how they met Cynthia. She loved one of the paintings enough that she was willing to take a ride with the guys for the opportunity to own it. Cynthia is hot. She's got big natural tits, a beautiful face, a nice thick curvy body, long raven hair, and a enormous latina ass. Sanchez told her she could have the painting if he could see her body, and you know how it goes... One thing lead to another... Next thing you know Enzo was fucking her face. Wait till you see this ass, and the girl knows how to booty shake. You don't want to miss this one. Enzo completely covers her face in cum, as usual. I still can't get over how gorgeous this girl is. She looks kinda like Selma Hayek. Definitely a keeper.